What I Learned in 2017

Men are innately stupid

Men in entertainment:

Men that I looked forward to working with someday who have been exposed to having a history of offenses – stupid.

Men that I enjoyed watching on TV or in films who have been exposed to having a history of offenses – stupid.

Men trying to explain how women in Hollywood are to be perceived – stupid.

Men in politics:

Men trying to justify what their constituents want/need but really only end up lining their pockets – stupid.

Men justifying the words/actions of a narcissist – stupid.

Men who cannot explain the very bill that their name is attached to – stupid.

Men in education:

Men who hold near and dear STEM without having a policy or procedure to uphold it – stupid.

Men who provide the catch-phrase ‘we just want well-rounded kids’, an explanation that has been given for over the past 60 years as the USA ranks 17th in the world in education, as they continue to drop the arts from schools – stupid.

Men who uphold a union that doesn’t represent its members, its parents, or placing education first – stupid.

In 2018 I’m gonna get me a helmet, keep my head down, keep my mouth shut, and become a shut-in.

Good people swear.

I know there’s a study out there by some reputable organization, company, institution that confirms cussing each and every day is good for your health, mental well-being, and your soul.

(Now, this is where an author usually ends their little comment with some expletive, but I’ve never been one for cheap jokes or easy laughs.)

People are younger than they look.

This is just my way of saying I have no clue how old you are, so please stop asking.

If you’re asking it just means that I’m too old for you so please step away from the entertaining, grumpy, white guy, and be on your way.

Dinosaurs had ticks.

As if they didn’t have enough to worry about with other predators higher on the food chain wanting them as their next meal, crashing asteroids disrupting their atmosphere or their afternoon stroll, little did we know that Lyme disease was an issue.

So, can you imagine being as big as a house and being fatigued, having a headache, a rash as big as a wheel-barrel somewhere on your body you can’t scratch because you have little arms, a fever, chills, night sweats, joint and muscle pain, insomnia, and cognitive issues.

No wonder they were cranky.

Who knew?

Some vikings were women.

Okay, for some reason this doesn’t really surprise me.

I don’t know why exactly.

I think it may have something to do with the TV shows I’m watching like, Vikings, Game of Thrones, and House of Cards, and/or possibly all the women in my life who have never taken a backseat to anyone so I find it completely understandable that the women of yore were no different.

Yeah, I said yore.

There are voids in the Great Pyramids.

This is more of a, ‘Why haven’t these chambers/rooms/voids been discovered before now?’ thing to me.

Apparently, someone with a big-a$$ X-ray of some sort decided to scope out one of the Great Pyramids, which can we just say that they’re all great? I don’t mean to say that just because you build it that everyone gets a trophy kind of thing, but come-on, they’re huge, and if truth be told, I have no clue how to build one, so to me they’re all pretty great in my book.

Okay, they scanned them and found large voids that they hope to discover…something. Maybe bodies, maybe more artifacts, maybe…maybe a game-room, or just a place where the Pharaoh wanted to get away from it all. Maybe it was his man-cave? Or, or maybe it was their version of an attic where they stored holiday decorations, boxes of sentimental arts and crafts that the kids made in school, or where they kept the mother-in-law when she came to visit.

There are fish that live 5 miles beneath the ocean.

And they’re ugly. I think it just goes without saying that they are not something I’d like to have swimming around in my aquarium. If I had one.

I predict that they’re already be on some Nordic restaurant menu before Labor Day.

So this brings up the argument that there are still many things left to be explored on this planet before we spend stupid amounts of money looking for sustainable life somewhere else.

A new planet has been discovered and is life sustainable.


Oh, it’s also 11 light years away.

I was told there’d be no math but I think 11 light years away is very far.

I don’t recall the name of this new planet and I really don’t care because I care about this planet but I heard about it somewhere and it has an odd name, so in my book if you live so far away that I can’t Uber to and the place you live has some alpha-numeric name then…I guess we’ll just be Facebook friends.

An enormous iceberg has broken off the Antarctic Shelf.

Environmentalist are scared.

I’m thinking I should be too, but when you get to the other side of fifty then everything is just another step towards the light.

Astronomers witnessed the first ever collision between 2 neutron stars.

As the rest of the free world was watching Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, or HBO, these guys witnessed something no one else had ever witnessed before.

Yeah, I don’t care either.

I don’t know what it all means, but I suppose it means something, right?

Well, good for them.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I won’t list the deeds that were done, I come from the personal rule of conduct that they are between you and your higher power, similar to a mitzvah if you will, but f@cking hell I got hammered in 2017.

Each and every time I chose to do good I walked away either bloodied, in tears, or at a financial loss.

And I’m still befuddled as to how someone with good intentions, something in which only benefited another turned out so poorly on my part.

Yes, I’m already looking on Amazon for a helmet.

What’s old is new again.

Again, the studios are going through their library looking to rehash movies and TV shows in hopes of gaining newfound financial gains.

I get why they’re doing this. It’s business. But what I do not get is their explanation in doing so. They claim that they want to reignite the fond memories of XYZ TV show/film and gain a new audience.

Okay, that’s fine. Poor reasoning as far as I’m concerned, but fine. What I don’t get is that they want to rehash a TV show/film from the 70’s or 80’s that either tanked or did poorly.

And don’t we have enough cop and doctor procedurals as it is? And if we don’t isn’t Ryan Murphy or Shonda Rhimes already working on it?

So long as the network studios keep employing a generation that has no sense of TV or film history, and putting them in positions to green light projects, then we will continue to see ground breaking projects from outlier studios and cable networks while network CEOs erroneously blame writers for being overpaid and unoriginal.

Broken promises.

Get it in writing.

F@ck their word.

Get it in writing.

Regardless of the position they hold.

You better get it in writing.

Forget if they’re a family member, a friend, or some longtime acquaintance.

F@cking get it in writing.

Don’t be like me who is out money, having to justify his motives, and could be out of a job by the end of the week.

Just get it in writing.

And when Karma takes names, be sure she starts with the letter ‘A’.

Oh, and before I forget, I give a big shout out to my Russian hackers that have put me well above the 5 million mark.

Thanks to them I have companies that want this platform to advertise on.

Unfortunately for them I’m rather honest and have revealed what I believe are my true numbers to these companies. 7 was the final total I came up with.

So, to you, my actual subscribers, thank you. Thank you for your patience, and understanding.

May we all have a healthy, happy, and financially prosperous 2018.

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3 Responses to What I Learned in 2017

  1. Kara McLeod says:

    Oh my black Irish- I hope 2018 is better for all of us.

  2. Linda says:

    I saw helmet’s on sale at the Big 5 in today’s paper. Just sayin’. Maybe wear it to work tomorrow. Working in a hostile environment is not good for your mental health. Especially when your “boss” is a jerk. I’m being kind here.